One wild night
by naybaybay
Summary: Castle and Beckett review a very exciting night spent together.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey doods, so this is a quick one-shot, based on the photos for the finale and the CTV promo for "Undead again" - which looks like it will be buckets of fun!**

**When I finished writing this, and I proofread it, I actually found that it was beneficial to re-read when you know the conclusion, kinda made me go "ahh"... and I wrote it!**

**Hope you enjoy reading at least once anyway :-)**

**DISCLAIMER: My not owning Castle is my number one excuse as to why I have a secret stash of chocolate in my room... don't tell my parents o.o**

...

"You were amazing last night", she threw him a sideways smile, wrapping her fingers around the warm cup of coffee he had just presented her with.

He cast his eyes sideways to look at her and couldn't help but let them crinkle into a smile.

"Really?" He asked coyly, casting his shy gaze back to the pavement.

She rolled her eyes as she huffed out a short breath. The smile remained fixed to her face. "Yes really, but if you tell anyone at the office... well, you've seen my proficiency with a gun."

He laughed and she felt an instant fluttering in her stomach, her nerves twitching interestingly.

"That's the thanks I get for treating you so well?" He asked with a lightly accusatory tone.

She pursed her lips. "You're right, I just think if Esposito and Ryan learned of our little... adventure", He raised an eyebrow at her phrasing. She looked at him quickly and blushed. "I mean, they'd never stop teasing us, would they?"

He nodded. "Probably not, but would that be such a bad thing? I for one wouldn't mind recounting it over and over", he nudged her gently with his elbow.

She chuckled. "I'm sure you wouldn't."

"It _was_ a pretty incredible night, wasn't it?" She asked him with a definitive sparkle in her eyes.

"_Very_ exciting", he grinned.

She took a side step so that there arms grazed against each other as the pair of them walked the lane to the crime scene. "You were just so... strong and...manly", she told him shyly.

He narrowed his eyes. "You sound surprised, detective."

She shrugged lightly. "Well, judging from past situations, I'd just pictured you screaming like a little girl and not being able to stay still long enough to get the job done."

"Well, fighting off an acting troupe pretending to be zombies was pretty damn scary... until I saw the costume tag on the shirt of that one with the rubber axe."

She laughed, "Gotta love your Mom's enthusiasm."

"Yeah, I just can't believe she would go to such lengths to get us communicating again", Castle shook his head.

Beckett swallowed and stopped in her tracks, tugging him back by his sleeve. "Are you sorry she did?"

Castle sighed softly. "No, no I'm not."

Beckett nodded. "Me either... and hey, thanks for, you know, protecting me... like always."

Castle's eyes cast a trail over her face, as if memorizing every line. "I'm glad we're together again, on the case."

Beckett blinked, chewing softly on her bottom lip. "I'm glad we're together, period."

Castle and Beckett's eyes locked for a moment, before Castle smiled slowly and turned around to walk along the path again. Lanie was in sight now, hovering over a gurney with a young man atop it.

For a moment, silence surrounded them, until they reached the M.E, who greeted them with a wink. "Hey you two, I heard you had an eventful evening last night."

"What? How did you find out?" Castle whined.

Lanie chuckled. "Alexis gave me a full report. Your mom is a legend, Castle."

"Oh, the zombie thing, yeah that was nothing", Castle replied bravely, puffing out his chest for good measure.

"Oh so you didn't do a little poop in your Castle pants?" Lanie teased him.

Castle narrowed his eyes at her. "Please, you really think a group of amateur actors playing zombies could freak me out? Me!"

Lanie didn't reply, just pursed her lips and returned her attention back to the body in front of her.

"You have to admit parts of last night were a little freaky though Castle", Beckett told him over the corpse.

Castle's brow shot up and he smacked his lips together. "OK, I confess, the way last night turned out was not how I envisioned it when it began, nor was it as peaceful or as quiet as I'd pictured it; during a couple of instances, I may have even screamed... that information is _not _for public record by the way Lanie", Castle cast Lanie a sideways glance.

Lanie just shook her head.

"Oh, I can attest Castle, you definitely screamed", Beckett smirked.

"Oh what, and you didn't I suppose?" Lanie raised her eyebrows at the detective.

Beckett huffed. "Lanie! You're not supposed to gang up on me, you're suppose to be on my side here."

Castle laughed. "Oh she certainly did, Lanie. I don't think I've ever heard anything so girly come out of this woman's mouth as those little whimpering squeals."

"Castle!" Beckett flushed scarlet.

He raised an innocent eyebrow at her, but poked his tongue out for good measure.

She shook her head and mouthed. "Such a child."

"OK, well if you're done recounting your heroic night of staving of zombies, we do have a murder here to solve."

"Yes we're done, as long as I have the opportunity later on to regale you further", Castle said, directing the statement toward Beckett.

Beckett smiled at him. "Who would I be to turn down a best selling author for a story?"

He winked at her. "It _was_ a helluva night."

Martha had been very careful to keep her plan secret from Castle and Beckett. She'd spent the last three weeks, staging a flash-mob style prank, managing somehow to assemble dozens of young actors from the local drama schools, through fellow acting teachers.

The "zombies" were very professional and had in fact frightened the hell out of Castle and Beckett until Castle's trained eye caught a glimpse of the aforementioned name tag.

After the discovery, Castle and Beckett laughed and recounted every moment of the strange and extraordinary event, and even went out for drinks with the young actors afterward; on Castle's credit card (payment for services rendered.)

Then, Castle had escorted Beckett home, joking that more zombies may have been on the loose - real ones. It was a lame excuse, but Beckett didn't mind; Martha's plan was obvious, her intention was to throw the two of them together, get them talking again (or for the first time.)

And so, in Beckett's apartment, on her couch, with a glass of wine in hand, the two of them had discussed all that needed to be discussed. Secrets had been revealed, lies had been uncovered, tears had been shed and urges had been no longer denied.

And indeed, the fact that they'd had sex for the first time last night _may_ have even factored into today's conversation...

...

**A/N: OK, so obviously my intention here was to get y'all believing one thing, then make you think another thing, then finally make you realize that the first thing you thought was the thing actually was the thing and the second thing was not... the thing**

**If I say "the thing" one more time... you will begin to throw stones, won't you? :P**

**Hope you liked it, thanks for reading and as always, reviews are the batteries that boost this little robot up :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

OK, so a couple of people convinced me to continue this, so it will now be a 3 parter. Hopefully the people who added the story to their story alerts in the hopes that the story would continue, will be pleasantly surprised :-)

Enjoy!

12 HOURS EARLIER

"Well, I don't see any evidence or clothing fragments anywhere", Castle muttered to his partner as he searched the abandoned parking lot, using the light on his phone to see.

"Yeah, no blood either", Beckett noted.

Castle raised his eyebrow. "Well hello, there wouldn't be any blood Beckett, the undead do not bleed."

Beckett turned on her heel and shone her torch into his face. "Castle, for the last time, our vic was NOT a zombie."

Castle squinted and turned away from the harshness of the light. "OK, so how do you explain him having no pulse and then suddenly bursting to life right in front of us?"

"War vet. Some soldiers employ tactics to stop the flow of blood, therefor stopping their pulse. Ever heard of the squash ball under the arm trick?"

"Put a squash ball under the armpit to stop blood flow to the arm, thus making it appear that the person no longer has a pulse in their wrist?"

Beckett nodded.

Castle chuckled. "Only one problem with that Beckett...coroners check the pulse at the jugular."

Beckett frowned. He had a point. She hated it when he had a point.

"Well maybe he..."

"Argggh!" Next to her, Castle screamed.

"Castle, wh... hah!...What the hell?"

Suddenly, dozens of zombies were walking in a very zombie-like manner, toward the two of them.

Beckett drew her gun, pointing it toward the ones that were the closest. "NYPD, do not come any closer!"

"Beckett, what is a gun going to do? They're already dead" Castle said with a high-pitched voice.

"Shut up, Castle", Beckett told him sternly, but her hands were shaking as she held the weapon.

The "zombies" surrounded the pair, creating a circle around them; trapping them completely.

"Get behind me", Castle told her bravely.

"They're all around us Castle, what's the use? Besides, I've got the gun."

"I've told you already, the gun is pointless...just don't let any of them bite you", he sounded terrified and Beckett would have laughed at the absurdity of his certainty that these were actual zombies, but the thing was, the detective was having doubts herself that they weren't.

"Castle-" Beckett whimpered.

"Kate", Castle stepped backwards so that their backs came into contact. "Kate, I-I just want you to know that I..." Castle's brow furrowed as he squinted in the dark. "McGhee's costume warehouse?"

Beckett looked over at him. "What?" She asked with a confused expression.

"Oh for Pete's sake!" Castle's body relaxed against hers and she took a step back to check that he hadn't been subdued by one of them, but he was just standing there with a strange little smirk on his face.

He threw his hands into the air. "OK guys, very funny. Who organized this?"

The group of zombie impersonators kept up their act.

"You got us OK? Good for you, you can stop now", Castle said to them, rolling his eyes.

"Castle, what's going on?" Beckett asked him, still turning around on the spot, holding her gun tightly with both hands.

"Daniel?" Castle spotted a young man, dressed in a stained doctors coat with "sores and bruises" all over his dimpled face.

The man, who had been walking wide-eyed and open mouthed toward the writer, suddenly stopped mid stride and sighed, stomping his foot on the ground. "Man!"

Beckett watched, dumbstruck, as the "zombies" all broke character and sighed, most groaning in a decidedly un-zombie like way and more in a disappointed human like way.

Beckett turned to Castle with a bemused expression.

"Beckett, this is Daniel... an acting student of my mother's."

Beckett's face muscles relaxed and she couldn't help but laugh.

"Well you're laughing, that's a good sign I hope", Daniel said.

"What do you mean, "a good sign"?" Castle questioned him.

"Please Mr. Castle, don't tell Mrs. R we failed on the mission", Daniel pleaded with Castle.

"Ah, what were you trying to achieve exactly? Scaring the crap out of us? Because you achieved that, don't you worry... I'll be thanking my mother sincerely for that later."

"Mrs. R arranged this whole thing like a few weeks ago, she put me in charge of recruitment, I was supposed to get all my friends from the drama school to contribute. It was just supposed to be like an exam, and if we failed, Mrs. R was going to make me an understudy in next season's production of "The taming of the shrew" - an understudy! She knows I would _kill _for the role of Petruchio."

He looked over at Beckett and gaped ineffectively. "M-metaphorically speaking, detective."

Beckett rolled her eyes as she looked from the babbling young man to her partner. "Why would your Mom do something like this?"

Castle shrugged. "Mental breakdown?" He offered, partly-serious.

"Hey Mr. Castle, is it OK if we bail now?" Daniel asked Castle impatiently.

"Daniel, why don't I take you all out for a drink... I know a terrific place", Castle said in a very persuasive voice.

The group of actors exchanged glances of approval.

"You'll come with us, right?" Castle asked Beckett.

Beckett smiled at him with bright eyes. He had just invited her to go out with him for the first time in weeks.

Then her face fell. "Castle, we're... _I'm_ still on the clock, we came out here looking for the primary crime scene, we can't just leave without notifying somebody first."

Castle was already on his phone, dialing speedily. "Hey Ryan, yeah... No, nothing so far. Hey listen, Beckett and I were just about assaulted by a gang of real scary looking dudes... yeah, yeah we're fine, I just think she needs to wind down a little, so I'm taking her to the Old Haunt for a bit."

Beckett clenched her teeth, watching him with a hard stare.

"No, we've got it covered. Yeah, of course. Hey, thanks man... Kay, bye."

Castle ended the call and pocketed his phone looking triumphant. "Sorted", he grinned.

Beckett closed her eyes. "For future reference Castle, lying to my colleagues to go skiving off work to drink with a bunch of..." She lowered her voice. "Circus performers?... Not included in my book of ethics."

Castle rolled his eyes at her. "Come on Beckett, it wasn't technically a lie, we _were_ just being stalked by a group of scary looking dudes and besides, it's just a drink. It's the least we can do for these poor kids, you're forgetting I was raised by a starving young actor."

Beckett laughed. "Yeah, who happens to be the one responsible for them being out here in the first place."

"Look, granted, my mother is a little... cooky, but that's not the fault of these kids, nor is it the birthright of her son", Castle told her with a lopsided smile.

Beckett tilted her head. "No it's not a birthright, but I'm thinking it might be hereditary."

Castle opened his mouth in protest, but Beckett just smirked and turned on her heel. "Come on guys, drinks are on Big Rick."

...

A/N: 3rd and final chapter coming soon!


	3. Chapter 3

OK, so I haven't seen 4x22 yet, although I'm sure many of you have, and by the time you read this story I probably will have to so... forget all this, it's redundant! :p

Hope you enjoy the conclusion :-)

Peace and love,

Renee.

...

The majority of the next couple of hours passed in a whirl of tequila shots and Coors; seems young actors are not really all that particular about the alcohol they drink.

When the tab Castle had put on the bar finally ran out, so did the actors; bidding Castle a loud farewell as they staggered out the door of the Old Haunt and down the street, truly looking like zombies again, in all their drunken glory.

"Night Mitch", Castle called across the bar to his head barman, as he tailed Beckett out into the cooling night air.

Beckett strolled briskly down the street in her impossibly high boots, whilst Castle followed in her wake. After a block of walking, Beckett whipped around to face him, nearly making him topple over.

"Castle? Are you following me?" Beckett asked him suspiciously.

"Following you? No", Castle replied simply.

Beckett squinted at him before turning back around and resuming her pace.

After another block and a half, she stopped dead in her tracks, this time Castle collided with her.

"Umph, Castle I thought you said you weren't following me?" She asked, not so much annoyed, just confused.

"I'm not, I am escorting you... you know in case there are more out there."

Beckett's brow furrowed. "More what?"

"Zombies", Castle said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh Castle, for the last time..."

"Alright, alright I was just trying to be chivalrous. I just don't want anything to happen to you... You know Beckett, I don't think you realize sometimes just how cold you can be to those who are just trying to protect you", Castle chided as he pushed his way past her on the narrow sidewalk and proceeded to stroll away.

Beckett's heart skipped a beat. Whoa, where in the hell did that come from? His angered tone startled her for a moment. It was unusual and unbridled and raw.

It was the wind stinging her eyes, that was the only explanation for the tears... surely.

Only there was none that night.

"Castle, wait", Beckett called to him with a weaker voice than she generally would have permitted to pass through her lips.

Castle wondered if she'd have reason to tease him more if he just ignored her. Did he even care if she did?

Yeah, that's real mature Rick.

He sighed to himself and slowed down his pace until she caught up to him. He felt her eyes land on his lower cheek. She spoke softer than usual. "Don't leave me, please. I appreciate your concern for my well being, I do... And even though, I reiterate, I am the one with a _gun_" She muttered out of the corner of her mouth. "I do somehow feel safer when you're at my side."

Castle briefly closed his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere", he sighed, sounding almost like he wished he was.

The mere fact that he simply felt he couldn't, made Beckett's heat leap with joy.

Then Beckett gasped quietly. "I just realized I think I might know why your mom would arrange something so drastic as this."

"Ah, you-you do?" Castle asked her, surprised.

Beckett pursed her lips. "She um, she came into the precinct today."

"What? When?" Castle's surprise turned into panic, and maybe even slight anger.

"Um, when you went out to meet with your publicist", Beckett told him nervously.

"Oh you mean the meeting she didn't even show up to?" Realization dawned on Castle's face. "The meeting that my mother allegedly forgot to tell me about until this morning... The woman's been making things up left, right and centre, that little old witch!"

"I'm sure she only had your best interests at heart, Castle", Beckett told him gently.

"What is it with people keeping secrets and pretending they're doing it to protect the one they're keeping them from?" Castle asked Beckett solemnly.

Beckett's breath caught in her throat. She shifted awkwardly on the spot. "I um... Castle, I think we need to talk."

Tentatively, she looked up into his eyes to find them fixed on her. "Yeah, I think we do", he agreed softly.

Beckett nodded. "Come on", she motioned with her head for him to continue walking with her.

The pair walked the remaining six blocks to Beckett's apartment in relative silence, though when Beckett shivered at a corner while waiting for the pedestrian light to go green, Castle shrugged off his overcoat and wrapped it around her thin frame. It instantly encased her with warmth, both the jacket itself and her partner's selfless act.

Her brain screamed for her to refuse it, but it was just too inviting and her heart was reminding her of how hurt he'd sounded when he accused her of not being able to accept help.

She smiled softly up at him as they crossed the street. "Thank you".

He gave her a short nod to signify that he'd heard her. He couldn't help but think if only she'd have done the same for him seven months ago, something as small as a tilt of head to let him know that _she_ had heard. It wouldn't have been enough but it would have been _something._

Wordlessly, the pair climbed the stairs to Beckett's apartment, where they shifted nervously on their feet.

After a far too long silence, Castle cleared his throat. "Well, here we are, so uh, look this is a bad idea right now, I'm tired and Alexis has things going on that I really need to help her out with, I've got to be there for her right now, you understand, right?

Beckett sighed. Great, another one bites the dust.

"Yeah, of course."

"Yeah, OK, um... goodnight, he threw her a half smile and turned on his heel to leave.

Beckett frowned. "Goodnight Castle."

He was just about to turn to walk back down the staircase, when Beckett decided that it was about damn time to get her shit sorted.

"Actually Castle..."

His foot balanced half way between the landing and the first steep. Balancing precariously, he spun around to meet her determined eyes.

She took a deep breath and said "No".

He looked off to the side, trying to search his memory for a question he'd asked at some point during the course of tonight's wild events, but came up with nothing.

"No?" He questioned her with a slow and steady gaze.

She shook her head. "No." She confirmed. "It's not goodnight, because you're not leaving yet."

Castle's eyes fluttered in bewilderment. "I'm not?" He asked slowly again.

"Come inside."

He stood there, his whole face shadowed with confusion.

"Please", Beckett pressed.

Finally, he lifted his foot slowly back up to the landing and then plodded back to where she stood at her door.

Beckett opened it and stood waiting. But so did he. "After you", she motioned for him to enter ahead of her. He quirked an eyebrow at her and slunk inside the apartment.

"Sit down, or just whatever... just make yourself comfortable, we could be here a while", Beckett told him authoritatively.

He didn't comply by sitting down but he did find himself a comfortable place, resting on her breakfast bar.

"Wine?" She asked, as she breezed past him into the kitchen.

He nodded dumbly. "Sounds like I'm going to need it."

Beckett retrieved two wine glasses and uncorked a new bottle, pouring a hearty amount into each glass.

"Why did my mother come into the precinct today, Beckett?" Castle asked as she set the wine bottle down.

Beckett smiled a half smile. "To give me a shake up, to tell me it was time to do exactly what I'm about to do."

He looked at her confused.

She set her partner's glass on the counter in front of him. He picked it up and downed all of it immediately.

"OK so I'm about to say a few words that really should have been said by one of us a very long time ago", Beckett told him as she sat down on the arm of her couch.

"Um, OK?" Castle said back, sounding a little woozy.

"So I've been going to see a counselor since the shooting and he's made me realize a few things that-"

"Wait, you're seeing a counselor?" Castle asked, surprised.

Beckett held up her hand to him, warning him to remain silent. "Yes I have, and if you don't mind Castle, the way he operates is that one person has the chance to speak, and when and _only _when they are finished, may the other person talk."

Castle's slightly open mouthed closed on her last word.

"Nod if you understand", Beckett said, staring into his eyes.

Castle blinked and nodded dutifully.

"Good. Right, so I've been seeing this guy Doctor Burke, originally I saw him as a police policy requirement, but he had helped me in that one session, so I kept going back, and every time I went to him I discovered more and more about myself."

Castle's eyes trailed her face. She was discussing things openly with him, her private business...This was so not her.

He didn't know whether to be worried or exhilarated.

"Doctor Burke helped me to realize that I have PTSD and that the disorder isn't just attributed to the shooting, but to many, many things that have occurred in my life and have all lead up to this."

Castle held his head up, waiting patiently.

"My mother's death, my father's drinking, the boys at college that used and dumped me like a piece of garbage. It made me feel like I was... like I was garbage", Beckett's breath was shaky as tears formed in her green eyes.

Castle's mouth opened a fraction before he remembered his promise to her.

"But I wasn't... And I'm not", Beckett said, straightening herself.

Castle's eyes softened, he wanted to shake his head to agree with her but he supposed in a way, that constituted talking.

"And then there was you", Beckett bowed her head before raising it again to give him a steely look.

Castle's eyes widened a little in surprise. He'd been responsible for her being stressed? Well actually, yeah he had, even he knew that. He'd been a right-royal pain in the ass when he first started shadowing her.

But that wasn't what she was talking about here.

"You never knew this, and I never told you because I was weak and afraid, but when you went to the Hamptons for the Summer with Gina..." she let out a huff of a laugh and then nodded to herself. "You broke my heart."

She said it so lightly, almost with wonderment. Like she, Katherine Beckett could have her heart broken by some cheeky, over-grown child of an author.

Castle swallowed hard and then sighed, resting his elbows on the counter and bringing his hands to cradle his head.

Forget not being allowed to talk. He wanted to scream.

Again, Beckett laughed softly, and without real humor. "I broke up with Tom and I was going to talk to you about maybe getting together... I didn't know what I wanted at the time, but I know who I wanted it with."

Castle inhaled deeply, resisting the urge to get up off the stool he was sitting on and throw it across the room.

"So then, by the time you told me you loved me..."

Castle raised his head from his hands in a flash. He was stunned to find her looking straight at him.

Beckett nodded boldly. "Yeah, I heard." She closed her eyes briefly. "I remember. I remember it all."

She stood from her seated position and took a step forward so that there was limited space between them. "By the time I heard you say those words to me... I didn't want to hear them. I had spent so long trying to suppress all these feelings that I had for you, all these dreams, all these fantasies and wishes..."

Castle beamed internally.

"You obviously didn't feel them back, or if you had, you'd suppressed them quicker than I."

Beckett sighed. "And I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't tell you all of this sooner, I'm sorry I didn't at least acknowledge the fact that you _did _say those words to me... But with everything else in my life that had always seemed so good, I thought it was too good to be true. I got used to being disappointed a long time ago, Castle." Beckett threw her hands into the air. "You're a best-selling author! You could have your pick of any woman in the city..."

That was too much for Castle, he didn't speak verbally, but he did shake his head at her.

Beckett shrugged. "What would you want with damaged goods like me?"

A tear fell from Castle's eye. She wasn't damaged, that sounded like something that should be thrown away. No. She was fragile, something that needed special care and attention. Something that needed to be looked after.

Something rare and beautiful.

"OK, I think you'd better speak now", Beckett said to him nervously.

It was only then that she noticed his empty wine glass. "You want more?" She asked, motioning to the glass.

"Yes", he answered softly.

She reached over to pick up the glass, he stilled her wrist by wrapping his large hand around it. Holding her, but hardly touching her.

He shook his head. "Not more wine,"

Beckett swallowed hard as he tugged her close to him.

"Firstly, I just want to apologize for being the world's dumbest living inhabitant", he told her, making her lips twitch upward a little.

"Secondly, I need to clarify something with you. You have been fighting feelings for _me_? Because you thought that I didn't wa-" Castle stopped, exhaling with disbelief. He shook his head. "We are both so stupid."

"Yeah. Yeah we are", Kate laughed, looking at him to share the joke with her, but he wasn't smiling.

"I'm not finished yet." He told her seriously.

The smile fell from her face. He was about to let her down gently, tell her that he'd moved on long ago and hadn't looked back. She just knew it...

"I've been working on your mom's case", he told her hesitantly.

O-K. SO not what she was expecting.

"Wh-What?" She stammered. "Are you crazy? Do you want to get yourself killed?" Beckett scolded him.

Castle looked down and was amazed to see that she had not pulled her wrist out of his grasp. Instead she had flipped his arm over so that she was holding tight to his hand.

"I was trying to protect you Kate. There are people after you, bad people, the guy who ordered the hit on your mom, he's still out there and-"

"Castle, stop!" Beckett yelled at him, gripping his hand. "This is exactly what I was just talking about. It's the same as you and I. I had unresolved feelings for you, but I didn't tell you and so you went off with _Jacinda_ and _Gina_ and _Natalie_ and _Serena_..." She drawled out the women's names, placing emphasis on her distaste for them all. "This guy shot me Castle, and if we go chasing after it again, chasing after him, the same thing will happen that happened when I found out you didn't love me anymore."

Castle didn't ask the question, but he didn't need to, it was in his eyes.

Beckett cried. "My heart will shatter...I'm so tired of protecting my heart. I want to put it out there, I want to be able to give it freely and wholly. And now that you've so obviously and easily succeeded in falling out of love with me, I'm forced to give it to someone else, but there's a problem there, you see, because I know that you, Rick Castle, you will always hold a piece of it. A piece that I'm never going to get back."

She sobbed and bowed her head, tried to withdraw her hand from his hold.

He refused her, and took some labored breaths. "Look in my eyes Kate."

_Kate_.

She lifted her head slowly to meet his red eyes that matched hers.

"Do you really think I've succeeded in stopping loving you?"

Beckett lip shook with the battle to prevent tears falling. A battle it was losing.

"I sought out women like Jacinda because I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me."

Beckett stared at him, dazed "I hurt-"

"Yes, you hurt me. I heard you telling that boy that you remembered everything about your shooting, which meant that you remembered what I said and you proceeded to ignore it for seven months, what other premise was I to accept? You didn't love me, and that was that."

"What, Castle, that is so not-" Beckett growled.

Castle held up his hand. "I'm talking now."

She quieted.

"I know better now. I appreciate how much you've really been going through, and I appreciate what a total jack-ass I've been." He closed his eyes. "I am so, so sorry."

For the first time in what seemed like forever, there was silence in the room. The two of them stood awkwardly, almost against each other. Crowding one another, too close for Beckett to simply turn around and walk away.

Finally, the detective broke the strained silence.

"May I have the floor again?" She asked him with a tilt of her head.

Castle shrugged, smiling slightly. "You're the one moderating this session, it's up to you."

Kate sniffed and then said quickly, "I love you."

A million dreams were coming true as her hand found his check and touched it with such gentleness, Castle felt a strong need to never let her drop it back to her side.

Castle puffed out a breath of air, which carried with it, a sob. "You-"

Her eyes meet his, sparkling brightly. Her hand was caressing his face and stroking his ear gently, as if soothing it after the many times she'd assaulted it when he withheld information from her.

"Even after all this.. and all the..."

She didn't wait for him to finish, no matter what the questions, the answer would still be the same.

Yes. She loved him.

She captured his words with her mouth, words she wished she could bottle... and perhaps now, she might have the chance.

He groaned as her lips moved gracefully over his, her tongue grazed his bottom lip, creating a tingling sensation. He opened his mouth to moan and that's when her tongue denied etiquette and entered his mouth, starting a slow and fiery battle with his.

She sighed as he began to respond with a passion.

His arms came around her, pulling her impossibly close to him, his hands roamed her back, stroking gently, a stark contrast to the strength of his arms.

When the need for air was evident, he pulled his mouth from hers and moved to kiss her neck. "Casss-le" she sighed so meekly.

It was the most vulnerable thing she'd ever done. And she would only do it with him. The man, she wanted to tell all of her secrets too.

Because she trusted him. Because she loved him.

Castle lifted his lips to hers again and gave her a kiss that carried with it those three words and much, much more.

"Wow", Castle said, breathlessly, as he pulled away. "That was even better than our first kiss."

"First kiss? What first kiss?" Beckett asked, with a knitted brow.

Castle's eyes bulged until she grinned, with an evil twinkle in her eye. "Kidding."

Castle shook his head, leaning forward to claim her mouth again. "You know, I don't know what I see in you sometimes", he muttered into it.

Beckett hummed into his cheek. "Me either."

Castle froze for a second. He wanted to amend his statement immediately. He certainly couldn't have her thinking she was anything less than perfect to him.

She was.

"I mean it could be your flawless body and your steadfast determination and your impossibly large heart, but I don't know", he shrugged.

"Hmm", Beckett hummed again, as he trailed a line of kisses around her jaw.

"I guess it could also be the fact that I love you with all of _my_ heart", he told her lightly, but tenderly.

She took his face in her hands and gave him a look of utter devotion. "I know you do."

After a moment, Castle cleared his throat deliberately, signifying it was her turn.

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Uh, what do I see in you... what. do. I. see, hmm..."

Castle pinched her on her derriere and she squealed. "Well not your patience, that's for sure", she growled.

Castle pulled back, looking affronted. "Seriously? Do you have any idea how damn patient I have been? Three words Beckett: Twenty months celibate."

Beckett tilted her head with a predatory grin. "I am so sorry. Let's remedy that straight away."

"My ass", Castle said as she came to straddle him.

"What?" She laughed.

"My ass, that's what you like most about me. That's what you see in me."

Beckett snorted. "No, your ass is what I see outside of y-" She pursed her lips.

Castle chuckled evilly as he'd just gotten her to admit that she had checked out his bottom, and probably, he assumed, on more than one occasion.

Beckett narrowed her eyes at him. "You know what Castle... shut up."

She pounced on him, pressing her lips and hips hard against him and needless to say; he did.

And for the rest of the night, she showed him just how good "sinning in silence" could be.


End file.
